Autumn? I've heard others talk of such a thing.

Last Friday (9/23) was apparently the first day of Fall. Some people called it the beginning of "Autumn". Here in Phoenix we called it... Friday. When it's 100+ degrees outside the last thing you think about is "fall".

If you live in the Valley of the Sun long enough though you get accustomed to our seasons. We don't have 4 like most of the country, I mean why would you need four of them? That's really twice as many as is necessary. In Phoenix we have two. The first season is known as "Extreme Summer" and it lasts from May until September, sometimes longer. It's a fascinating season. You can do things during that time of year that you can do at no other time. Like what you ask? Well, let me just tell you. If you would like you can bake cookies in your car. You can fry an egg on your hood. You can make sun tea in 3 minutes. If you want to test your inner strength you can get the mail barefoot. It's the same as one of those coal walks without the pesky need for chopping wood and waiting hooooours for it to burn down to coals. And while you're doing the "grab the mail" coal walk you can kill another bird by getting an instant tan at the same time. The great thing about all these is that they are all huge money savers! It's like extreme couponing without the paper cuts! Win-win really.

The description or name of the other season is a little more ambiguous. It just sort of creeps up on you without any fanfare. You realize that last Thursday it was hot and this Thursday, well it's not quite as hot. And before you know it it's 71 and you're looking for a long sleeve hoody because it's "freezing" outside. At least that's what I do.

The other main difference between Extreme Summer and the rest of the year, other than the less hotness of it, is the light. The light is different in the non-extreme part of the year. During the summer the sun beats down mercilessly directly overhead and then all of a sudden one day it's still 108 but the sun is shinning in through your side window in your car and your left thigh feels like it's melting. That's when you know it's fall. Not when the temperature changes. No that's not a good test at all. The real difference comes down to the light and shadows. The fact that you actually have a shadow is the real key.

Maybe instead of Groundhog Day we need another holiday around the end of September. Something with a coyote or a snake or something. We'll take the coyote (or the snake) and shove it out a door into the sun. If the unsuspecting creature sees his shadow then we know the season has changed. If he instantly bursts into flames then it's still Extreme Summer.

I guess that's what it boils down to when it comes to seasons here. Either it's coyotes-burst-into-flames-in-the-sun season or it's not.

I'm glad we're moving into the non creature burning season. It's my favorite.